7 Responses to “In Order To Raise Money For A New Church Our Pastor Has Authorized Keno Girls In Short Skirts To Come Around?”
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June 13th, 2009 at 3:52 am
Thet have Hooter girls at my place of worship. We pin dollar bills on them like they do on the Madonna during the Italian Festival. They even carry their own portable dance poles. (For that I give a 5′er.)
Next up: The Pope goes to Mount Olive and Popeye beats the crap outta him.
June 13th, 2009 at 3:52 am
The Lord works in mysterious ways…. I’ve worn out many a knee praying for women in short skirts.
June 13th, 2009 at 3:52 am
Oh are you going to get blasted for this one! LOL!
Then again, I used to volunteer for a few charities doing Bingo fund raising…and um…well, there is money to raised out there..all you need is ‘a hook.’ If ya catch me drift!
LOL!
June 13th, 2009 at 3:52 am
they should rename it keno players church.
June 13th, 2009 at 3:52 am
Well, since the promotion of Bingo and Keno at most denominations, it only seems to be an excellent marketing idea to throw a little “sin” (church approved of course) into the fund raising basket.
My priest has been in the forefront of creative ways to help pay for the law suits incurred by, shall we say, “friendly” priests.
Morning mass has the Wheel of Sin contest. One has the option to donate $5.00 and hopefully spin to the big ticket slot. Absolution! No confession required!
Morning mass has never been so popular.
Evening mass has had to be a little more creative. Of course the Wheel if Sin is still popular, but additional attractions had to be added. Musical Confession Booth run around is very well received.
Many members complained about what they perceived was a crass commercialization of our Holy history.
This was solved by bringing in the teen age girls from Our Sister Mary High School. During communion, they would do cartwheels and splits (in their cheerleader outfits) and accept contributions from the receivers.
Another revenue enhancer was the selection of fine wines available for purchase in the apse. All blessed by the priest of course. Our nave sells a complete selection of rosary beads, made in China, with a personal message from the Pope.
Many people think that the Catholic Church is still mired in the past. Nay, not true. While we have had to sell most of our propery to satify judgements against us, we still are on the leading edge of generating additional income.
June 13th, 2009 at 3:52 am
Strange? Not really.. I’m sure the girls legs will be covered,,,and that’s what counts, right?
Will the winners dance in the aisles? and shout Amen,,Hallelujah,,,Amen!!
June 13th, 2009 at 3:52 am
Was this at the Clean Old Folks Home?